Things are finally starting to wind down here a bit. I just finished paying off my trip to Europe yesterday, and my cupcake fundraising is soon coming to a close. I’ll be glad to not have “failed” cupcake lying around my kitchen anymore. I’ll admit I’ve spoiled my dinner with such confections at least three nights in the last week. It was admittedly strange to have a real dinner tonight. I have a problem, I know. I feel like I’ve been in a perpetual sugar coma.
This dinner that I had was a cheap fix I prepared a few days ago. I like to get a ham hock from my local rancher/meat supplier and toss it in a pot of beans for a really cheap protein source that lasts for about a week, but I decided to mix it up with a 15 Bean Soup mix. Really, it’s just a mix of 15 different kinds of dried legumes. It has a recipe for an actual “soup” on the back, and I used it for reference. Oh, and I left out the “ham flavor” seasoning packet. Yuck.
Unfortunately none of the pictures of the finished product turned out. Ah well. It was tasty, though.
On another note, apparently there’s this 30 day blog topic challenge going around that I’m only aware of because I found it on Mary’s blog. And because I turned 13 back in 2001 and haven’t grown up since, I’m into these survey-type things and shall jump the bandwagon.
(image, again, taken from Mary)
Day 1: Your Current Relationship
So… my relationship?
It was early 2006 and I was visiting Wayland Baptist University for the second time before becoming a student there in the fall. I was 17 and was focusing only on my new-found friends as we frolicked about the “concrete prairie” (a massive concrete surface in the middle of campus). At some point whilst I spun in circles and improvised ballet turns under the stars, he appeared out of virtually nowhere. (I am not the only one that uses this phrase when describing his arrival on the scene. Others attest, it really was as if he appeared from nowhere!)
I didn’t pay much attention to him. I was concentrating on how many constellations I could find and how to answer the question that Greg had just asked of me: “Would you rather go to Europe or Japan?”
Then I heard a friend say his name.
I thought it was a funny name. I didn’t know any Edgars!
He was 19 and a sophomore at Wayland studying instrumental music performance and business administration.
For the rest of the evening he tagged along in our little group. We shared a small bit of conversation, mostly about choir. I didn’t pay him very much mind since, truthfully, I was interested in someone else. But I did notice in his questioning that he was interested in getting to know me, and in his focus on me when I spoke I could see he cared about what I said.
After that weekend, I went home to Fort Worth, graduated high school, and planned my move to Plainview in the fall. I didn’t give Edgar any more thought than I would give a casual acquaintance, or so it seemed at the time. One evening in late July I was in a contemplative mood, thinking about the roles people play as they come in and out of your life. I was thinking about how my closest friend at that time had been going to the same church as me since I was four, but we didn’t meet or become friends until ten years later. I got to thinking about anyone we come across in life could be someone incredibly special to us later in life. I got to thinking about how I might have already met who might be my maid of honor* at my wedding, or even my husband, and not even realize it. I had these thoughts as I flipped through old pictures I had taken at the WBU Big Weekend that previous March. I saw the photos of myself, my new friends, and Edgar frolicking on the concrete prairie, and the idea drifted into my mind…
“No! It’s not him!”
Then I was immediately struck with the feeling of guilt toward my less-than-humble presumption. I turned to God and said, “just because I said that, if it’s him, You have a sense of humor!”
And He did.
Once I arrived on campus in August, Edgar laid it on thick. I could tell that he was interested in me. I was still not interested in him, though. I was still recovering from the reality of what was not going to become of my prior interest, and plus… Edgar was a jerk.
Yes, I said it. He was rude, arrogant, and selfish.
But despite my best efforts, despite turning him down on three different occasions, I grew steadily more attracted to him. It also helped that he was also growing steadily more kind, humble, and genuinely interested in the good of others. Even our friends were noticing a change in his attitude. He was more open and friendly toward everyone. The darkness (which I’m convinced is actually visible in his pre-2007 photos) was falling from his face.
I struggled hard. I prayed. I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t interested in him. I tried staying away from him, and I tried praying for specific signs. I had spent the last three years absorbed in the intention that I wouldn’t date someone I didn’t plan to marry**, and I had absolutely no clue whether he was the one or not. I shared my struggles with a friend and she came back with one verse for me: “Perfect love drives out fear…”
Later that weekend, while Edgar was out of town, I prayed. I let go of the thoughts, the fears, the baggage that was holding me back. And I realized that God wanted me to live by faith instead of looking for a clear, direct sign.
On the Monday night before Thanksgiving, I took a leap of faith and called Edgar from my dorm room closet. I told him I’d changed my mind.
We shared our first date on December 2nd. It was dinner at my favorite local restaurant (Tokyo’s), a movie (Casino Royale), and Christmas-light-looking. During dinner he explained that he had called my dad that morning to ask his permission to date me. And just after midnight, Edgar asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no.
I almost did, though, to be hilariously cruel! But no, I actually said yes. And we hugged. And we dated for another 25 months before he asked me in a poem, over a chicken crockpot dinner that I had prepared myself, to be his wife. We were married on November 21, 2009, in a church that neither of us attended but had both, on separate occasions before we started dating, decided that’s where we wanted to have our wedding.
*I hadn’t officially met her yet, but I had been visiting her Xanga site through the Wayland blogring, and she was a friend of a friend, so I knew who she was.
** ‘Tis true. It was my intention that I wouldn’t date someone I wasn’t going to marry. And I really thought I was probably going to dump all that down the drain by dating Edgar, but God does have his sense of humor! I did end up marrying the only person I ever dated!