I had so many blog-worthy things go on this weekend, but my camera batteries died at the most inopportune time.
This weekend was the Academy Awards and Spring Dance with Wayland. My last one to ever attend, and I wore the dress I bought for my very FIRST Academy Awards back in 2007. When I bought it, it fit mostly. It was loose in the chest but the belly area was just snug enough to expose the bit of a pooch I had chillin’ down there. Not the most flattering, but inexpensive it was.
I woke up yesterday morning unsure of what to wear. I was going to wear a cocktail dress I bought last summer but decided to go a bit more formal. After trying on several dresses, I concluded that EVERYTHING was too big and no matter what I wore, the work of safety pins would be required.
So I put on the black dress (now ENORMOUS in the chest and about 2-3 inches too loose in the belly), cinched it up in the back and called it a day.
The evening was pretty good. The videos were better than in years past (except last year. Those were the best!), but as I sat in my chair at the Fair Theatre, I had this feeling unlike any I’ve ever felt at the Academy Awards. I realized that I was going alone. Sure, Edgar was there, which is more than I can say for the previous year, but in all previous instances, there was the presence of a comfortable company of friends with whom to mingle. Now, my friends have graduated or moved on. And this became ever more apparent at the dance.
This is something Edgar and I have been realizing more and more. We are seeing how are lives are moving farther and farther away from college life, which is in a way painful, but not so much because of the actual college life. We are realizing that our tastes and perspectives are changing from what they were just several years prior. We are noticing how we don’t have much in common with our peers. I graduated a year and a half ago! I REALLY don’t fit in! But what I think I miss the most is my friends. Those I have been closest to have come and gone and I find myself wanting to physically move forward with my life and start the next chapter in another town.
I think the best way I can describe it is that we feel like we’re becoming too big for our shoes. I guess this is normal for a newlywed couple? I chatted with a dear friend of mine a little while ago, and she, like me, is a newlywed. I’ve watched as her outlook on life take a full 180* since being married. It’s been a long time since I’d been able to talk to her, and being able to do so this evening brought back so much that I’d been missing.
Companionship. Mutual Respect. Godly, loving support. I’ve always loved her because even though we disagree about so much (at least we did in the past?), we always keep an open mind with each other, and we love each other anyway. And now that we’re roughly on the same page in life (she’s married and her husband is currently in the Navy, while mine is still in the application process of the Navy), I feel like we have so many new topics to explore in our conversations.
I talk so much about bodily health in this blog, but health does not end with the body. Spiritual, emotional, and mental health are equally important, and that’s the message I truly want to convey here. To be everything God wants you to be and to truly do everything (“whether you eat or drink or whatever you do…” 1 Cor. 10:31) for the glory of God, you MUST look at the big picture. Where is your heart? Your mind? Your Soul? Your Body? Are you giving everything you’ve got? Are you giving yourself the respect you need as a part of God’s creation and an instrument to His purpose?
It’s not really about the scale. It’s not about trying to fit in skinny jeans. It’s not about going from “ugly” to “beautiful” in an exterior sense. It’s about honoring God with the life (heart, soul, body, and mind..) He gave you.
I think I’ve found my mission statement…